| (0, 1) 1 | The space is sometimes a radio studio and sometimes an 'actors holding room', complete with carpeted area and paving. |
| (0, 1) 2 | It mutates between the two also with the use of microphones. |
| (0, 1) 3 | There is a red/green recording light, a small refreshments table with kitsch old fashioned mix – matched cups and saucers, an assortment of biscuits as well as soundproofing. |
| (0, 1) 4 | Chairs and sofas may be present along with some items for foley work. |
| (0, 1) 5 | The Studio has not been updated with the times and has an old fashioned feel to it. |
| (0, 1) 6 | In one corner is a suggestion of Christmas in the form of a decorated tree, a nativity crib and a free standing Saint Nicholas figurine. |
| (0, 1) 7 | ~ |
| (0, 1) 8 | For the performers: there are two worlds created here – the reality of the actors recording a radio play, which should be naturalistic and snappy, and the other world that often separates the scenes in stylistic vignettes is the surreal, eccentric world of fantasy. |
| (0, 1) 9 | These lines will progressively blur as seen in |Alice's Adventures in Wonderland|. |
| (0, 1) 10 | ~ |
| (0, 1) 11 | Scene 1 |
| (Hlin) A Silent Start | |
| (Hlin) A Silent Start | |
| (0, 1) 13 | The opening scene happens in silence. |
| (0, 1) 14 | As the audience arrive in the studio, NICK STEED is sat CS. |
| (0, 1) 15 | He makes easy contact with the audience, acknowledging their presence. |
| (0, 1) 16 | He checks his phone occasionally {arguments with Ming, his wife}. |
| (0, 1) 17 | A red recording light is on. |
| (0, 1) 18 | He encourages the audience to keep quiet as they take their seats but takes this prime opportunity to silently sell his recent album. |
| (0, 1) 19 | There should be as much silence as possible. |
| (0, 1) 20 | Once the audience are seated, enter GAEL LOBO. |
| (0, 1) 21 | NICK immediately indicates the red recording light and the two shake hands in silence. |
| (0, 1) 22 | GAEL sits making easy contact with the audience and NICK. |
| (0, 1) 23 | Some time passes. |
| (0, 1) 24 | Enter ELIN-ROSE PHILLIPS. |
| (0, 1) 25 | NICK and GAEL indicate the red recording light, kissing or shaking hands with ELIN-ROSE. |
| (0, 1) 26 | ELIN-ROSE sits, making easy contact with the audience, NICK and GAEL. |
| (0, 1) 27 | Some time passes. |
| (0, 1) 28 | Enter TOBY GREY. |
| (0, 1) 29 | NICK and GAEL indicate the red recording light and the three shake hands. |
| (0, 1) 30 | TOBY greets ELIN-ROSE. |
| (0, 1) 31 | TOBY makes easy contact with the audience, NICK, GAEL and ELINROSE. |
| (0, 1) 32 | Some time passes. |
| (0, 1) 33 | ~ |
| (0, 1) 34 | TOBY rises from his seat and moves towards the refreshments table. |
| (0, 1) 35 | He begins to make himself a cup of tea. |
| (0, 1) 36 | He has a disability in one of his hands. |
| (0, 1) 37 | Everything on the table is tricky and proves an obstacle for him: polystyrene cups in a long tube casing, stiff coffee lid, sugar cubes that are removed with special tongs, a plastic ring pull on the milk carton and an unusually large industrial kettle. |
| (0, 1) 38 | As he begins to tackle each obstacle the others look on, unsure of what to do as he struggles with each item. |
| (0, 1) 39 | GAEL tries to intervene and provide help, which is quickly but politely rejected. |
| (0, 1) 40 | The others watch in discomfort. |
| (0, 1) 41 | As the sequence reaches its unbearable climax – enter FABIAN PADMOORE-PONDS. |
| (0, 1) 42 | FABIAN is carrying an armload of papers and is half greeting the room and half finishing a conversation with his boss, Head of Radio Drama ALISON, who is in the corridor. |
| (Fabian) {Calling off to ALISON in the corridor.} | |
| (Nick) No. | |
| (0, 2) 143 | Scene 2 |
| (Hlin) The Read-Through | |
| (Nick) Guide us to thy perfect light. | |
| (0, 2) 166 | The cast give a little polite applause. |
| (Fabian) Of course, why not? | |
| (Fabian) How kind of you Elin-Rose. | |
| (0, 2) 171 | ELIN-ROSE hands out beautifully wrapped presents, complete with ribbon and carefully selected Alice in Wonderland themed wrapping paper. |
| (Elin-Rose) {To Fabian.} | |
| (Elin-Rose) Some of them might be edible... oops! | |
| (0, 2) 176 | They open their presents. |
| (0, 2) 177 | TOBY seems to be having trouble opening his. |
| (0, 2) 178 | The ribbon is proving fiddly for him. |
| (Gael) {To Toby.} | |
| (Toby) I can manage, really. | |
| (0, 2) 183 | The others watch until he finally gets it open, he looks up and they quickly resume with their own gifts. |
| (Toby) A cupcake. | |
| (Toby) Might have to take a snap, do you mind? | |
| (0, 2) 193 | ELIN-ROSE nods and Toby takes a quick photo with his phone. |
| (Nick) Is she... {Indicates hand.} too? | |
| (Elin-Rose) But I'm a bit mad like that. | |
| (0, 2) 203 | NICK and GAEL have the same as Toby but Nick's is a little squashed. |
| (Elin-Rose) Oh no, how did that happen? | |
| (Elin-Rose) Stupid! stupid! stupid! | |
| (0, 2) 210 | ELIN-ROSE repeatedly hits herself hard in the face. |
| (All) Oh! | |
| (Nick) Shouldn't really, Ming suffers terribly, what with her fluid retention. | |
| (0, 2) 221 | GAEL and TOBY eat their cakes whilst still chatting. |
| (0, 2) 222 | ELIN-ROSE is transfixed on them, almost hypnotized by the ritual of eating. |
| (0, 2) 223 | This is her thing. |
| (Gael) {Noticing Elin-Rose's strange behaviour.} | |
| (Elin-Rose) No. | |
| (0, 2) 255 | NICK puts his away and looks at his script while FABIAN opens his present. |
| (Fabian) Definitely not a cake. | |
| (Nick) Let's have a whiff. | |
| (0, 2) 272 | FABIAN lets everyone have a sniff then wafts it like a fart into the audience. |
| (0, 2) 273 | ELIN-ROSE is still fully transfixed on GAEL eating his cake. |
| (Fabian) Well thank you, Elin, thank you. | |
| (Fabian) ELIN! | |
| (0, 2) 277 | She snaps out of it. |
| (Elin-Rose) Really enjoyed doing it and it's the least I could do, getting the chance to work with such amazing, talented people. | |
| (Nick) Child star? | |
| (0, 2) 293 | He takes out the pen and the actors pass it around. |
| (0, 2) 294 | It ends up in the audience. |
| (Nick) Best not to say anyway. | |
| (Nick) Anyway now, Fabian has been waiting patiently and indeed so have the audience so... | |
| (0, 2) 303 | He picks up his script. |
| (Fabian) ... "Alice was beginning". | |
| (Fabian) | |
| (0, 2) 306 | Nick fidgets around |
| (Fabian) "Alice was beginning". | |
| (Fabian) "Alice was beginning". | |
| (0, 2) 308 | Pause. |
| (Fabian) "Alice was beginning". | |
| (Nick/Narrator) She was considering in her own mind whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of"/ | |
| (0, 2) 334 | A phone goes off in the audience to the ring tone of Take That's 'Shine'. |
| (0, 2) 335 | The ACTORS and FABIAN look up. |
| (0, 2) 336 | The phone stops after a short period, they resume. |
| (Nick/Narrator) {Continues} | |
| (Fabian) We're all rabbit ears! | |
| (0, 2) 355 | Silence. |
| (Nick) Well, it's just... that's all you get. | |
| (Gael) /Love it. | |
| (0, 2) 389 | Gael misunderstands and thinks he's part of the improvisation, getting into position. |
| (0, 2) 390 | He sits at the back once he realises he's in fact not. |
| (Nick) Here we go, look, Toby, let's be brothers. | |
| (Gael) Alive. | |
| (0, 2) 434 | FABIAN gauges the audiences' response. |
| (Fabian) Ok. | |
| (Nick) Fat girls always are. | |
| (0, 2) 512 | NICK settles back down lightly singing a number from Jesus Christ Superstar. |
| (Nick) ... Killed herself. | |
| (Nick) ... Killed herself. | |
| (0, 2) 514 | Silence. |
| (Gael) Jesus! | |
| (Nick) And we are timing guys. | |
| (0, 2) 522 | During NICK'S narration the ACTORS anticipate being stopped by Nick and start feeling the pressure to perform, none more than ELIN-ROSE, who gets very nervous and agitated knowing her first bit of Alice dialogue is coming. |
| (0, 2) 523 | She fidgets and is unsettled. |
| (0, 2) 524 | TOBY and ELIN-ROSE position themselves centre stage ready for their bits. |
| (Nick/Narrator) "She ran across the field after it and was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit hole under the hedge. | |
| (Elin-Rose) Didn't I do it like that? | |
| (0, 2) 555 | FABIAN looks at the audience. |
| (Nick) No, you didn't. | |
| (Nick) I'm Jean Valjean | |
| (0, 2) 622 | Stand off between TOBY and NICK.. |
| (0, 2) 623 | FABIAN breaks it. |
| (Fabian) Shall we have a tea break everyone and come back to this with a fresh head? | |
| (Fabian) Bear with us and help yourself to the bits and pieces. | |
| (0, 2) 629 | FABIAN takes a tray of biscuits and heads over to the audience. |
| (0, 2) 630 | Gael goes to take one. |
| (Fabian) NO! | |
| (Fabian) Sorry, it's just these are just for the audience. | |
| (0, 2) 634 | NICK sings 'I'm Dreaming of Home' from |Joyeux Noel| for the audience. |
| (0, 2) 635 | FABIAN stares at him for a moment suddenly feeling threatened. |
| (0, 2) 636 | He then heads into the audience with his tray. |
| (Fabian) Actually Gail, could I have a word? | |
| (Gael) Yes. | |
| (0, 2) 646 | They chat discreetly upstage behind a shower curtain. |
| (0, 2) 647 | What at first seems like a conversation turns into something sexual, depicted through a silhouetted image. |
| (0, 2) 648 | Hand running down Gael's body. |
| (0, 2) 649 | Pencil rises like a penis. |
| (0, 2) 650 | Gael is masturbated but then the curtain is suddenly opened and we are back in the room. |
| (0, 2) 651 | GAEL is making notes in his notepad. |
| (0, 2) 652 | FABIAN takes the tray meant for the actors and swaps it with the tray he gave the audience and hands the plate to GAEL. |
| (Fabian) You see, I done that for you. | |
| (Fabian) Please help yourself to the pickings provided. | |
| (0, 2) 656 | FABIAN goes to his booth to make notes. |